What Goes Bump in the Night: What Lurks at Top of the Mountain

Welcome yet again to another episode of What Goes Bump in the Night where atheists are mocked ceaselessly, and Churchians realize how little they understand about their Lord and Savior. Both will most likely attack and screech like SJWs overdosing on fentanyl George Floyd style. 

Needless to say we’re going to have a goodtime as we explore the strange, and down right insane in this world of ours both seen and unseen. This time around I want to explore a little talked about aspect of ancient Hebrew theology, and what ramifications this reality would have if we took them less metaphorically than we’re told to. 

Hang on now, don’t click away. It’s not going to be as boring as that sounded. Trust me. The Bible is stranger than you know, and all of the churchians around you have been omitting, stretching, and twisting the truth whenever they weren’t downright lying. So buckle your seat belts, and let’s jump into the original commandment dealing with the true nature of creation.

Have you ever gone hiking through the Rockies seeing the massive waves of pine trees rolling up the sides of the mountains? The jutting rockfaces splattered with snow. The blue sky stretching its curved majesty over the horizon, and you can just feel God’s handy work around you. A true peace in beauty. Maybe, you even sense a connection with your creator that you haven’t felt for years. Then you hear the snort of a grizzly behind you. In the immortal words of Marlene the Clownfish In Finding Nemo, “Good feeling’s gone.”

Too true, too true. The paradox of beauty and chaos is nature incarnate. One minute it is serene and gorgeous the next minute your intestines are spewing from you during a horrible bout of dysentery. What gives with God’s creation trying to eat us alive all the time?

Churchians will simply say, “It’s because of the Fall stupid!” And yes this is true. Things became much harder after the fall, but if we look at the very first commandment given to humans in Genesis one we see a clue as to why the big G’s creation seems to be equal parts beauty and destructive chaos.

“Then God blessed (man) and said, ‘Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds of the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.’” Genesis 1: 28 NLT version

Then again, that’s the weak kneed sniveling modern churchian translation. If we go back to the original Hebrew it runs like “Be fruitful and multiply. Take dominion and subdue the earth” if I’m allowed to paraphrase. The word "radah” is used in the Hebrew, and it’s best translation is more along the lines of “to dominate” in verb form. Combined with “kabash” which means subdue or bring into bondage we change things from happy go lucky naked flower children preceding over fluffy animals to crusaders trampling chaos under feet bringing creation into the Kingdom of Heaven with glory and honor.

I almost get Warhammer 40k vibes out of it just without the gamma male frustration written into all the characters. Earth is the big G’s creation, but for whatever reason, whether by design or necessary, it is and was a chaotic place even before the fall. Man’s overarching command is to go into the earth, multiply, dominate, conquer, and subdue creation bringing all of it into the Kingdom of Heaven. For our modern minds with silly ideas of massive universes and tiny humans the idea seems fantastical rather than theological.

But gentleman, I don’t think I have to tell you that the ancient Hebrew mindset was far different from our own, and this concept of nature being a chaotic untamed creation cursed further by man’s folly would be natural. To the ancient Hebrews evil lived in the far lonely places of the world. Deities and gods, including Yahweh the Big G himself, made their presence and homes known on mountain tops. Think Mt. Olympus with Greek Mythology.

So let me set the stage for the modern mind infected by the Enlightenment. There is an inherit chaotic nature to mother nature, and God, the Big G, made man to go dominate her, tame her, and bring her into the Kingdom of Heaven. Rebellion soon rippled through the ranks of the Big G’s Holy Host eventually leading to the Fall of Man, and when that happened the land was cursed on top of its chaotic nature making our initial commandment that much harder to achieve.

Now, there are multiple parties of evil in the Bible and surrounding texts including the Watchers, Old Scratch himself the Devil, fallen gods known as Elohim sent to rule the nations, and half human half Elohim known as Nephalim to name a few. When man fell they took possession of creation meant for us to subdue. In the ancient Hebrew minds these entities manifested themselves as foreign gods who often made their abodes in the chaotic wilds and mountains, the points closest to the Heavens.

A modern theologian with a very narrow box and even narrower chances to get laid or produce children would want to write all this off as superstition used by the bible writers to make a point. Evil fallen gods don’t care about physical mountains or territories even if they did exist kind of attitude. You might be tempted to agree, but remember these are the same sods who cucked to every attack against the church since before evolution reared its nine hideous heads in the Enlightenment. Maybe we should contemplate the concept that ancient Hebrew writers, being inspired by the Lord of all Savior of Mankind Jesus Christ the Word and by the Big G, actually knew what they were talking about.

Calm down! I know it’s a odd pill to swallow, but hear me out before you start throwing your torches and pitchforks. The world is far stranger than you could ever imagine. The Big G made his creation that way, and you should conform to reality not live in a delusion that makes you feel comfortable about its nature.

Again, if this is what the bible says that should be enough for us as Christians. God is above us all, and if that’s how he inspired the word he stuck his name to that’s enough for me, but for the rest of you, ye of little faith or just much curiosity, there are some very fascinating phenomenon that have some eerie connections to the idea that wildernesses and particular mountains hold some dark secrets, and bad spiritual actors there in.

One is the strange focal points that seem to pop up around the world. Your Bermuda Triangles to name an extremely famous one, but others like Skinwalker Ranch where every paranormal concept marked by man comes to place. From bigfoot to aliens to every manner of ghost and shadow people all peak and sometimes smash their way onto these hotspots. Almost like something is there that we don’t understand.

Another one is the Missing 411 disappearances described by David Paulides. Disappearances in the wilds with absolutely no solid explanation from toddlers walking miles up mountainsides to areas being searched multiple times before the body is discovered there. Drownings where the bodies don’t match the decomposition state that they should be in if they’d been in the water for days, people disappearing off trails sometimes yards away from their party. It gets weird, and it seems meditated despite it seemingly being impossible for a human to have orchestrated them.

Lastly, I want to bring up satanism just to really piss off any atheists or milktoast churchians still in this article. Wikens, pagans, satanists, and so on often make retreats in the woods, mountains, and wildernesses for their dark rituals. Some of this would be just to get away from prying eyes, but as has been noted with Shadow People demons evil tends to take power from dark acts, negative feelings, and I would postulate the natural chaos of nature man was always meant to dominate would also be an excellent source. I imagine performing dark acts on these spots would only enhance the evil of the location, and thus the power of deities therein.

All these different phenomena and the like point to nefarious happenings in the wilderness right where the ancient Hebrew writers said that dark gods and demons lurked. It could be coincidence, but I think as Christains we would be foolish to not at least take a closer look at the concept since the Big G’s inspired word brings up holy mountains and rival gods in deserts and the like enough to garner our attention. We are his servants and children after all, not the other way around.

Does this mean you should never go camping again? By no means. There is beauty in God’s creation; just remember that it is unrefined, and waiting for the Kingdom of Heaven to come upon it. We can, in our on small ways, bring that about even before Christ returns, fulfilling that original commandment, but we will never complete it on our own. Not with the gods of this world in rebellion to the Big G himself.

What you should do is always know the history of the location where you are camping or hunting. Especially if you are picking out a plot of land for your homestead. You want to avoid anything with a name like “Devils Peak” or “Chasm of Satan” it may seem cliche, but people name things for a reason. 

Your settling ancestors were tougher, smarter, and far more religious than you are so listen to them when they try to warn you about forces they didn’t completely understand, but knew could harm you nonetheless. Be smart like the pioneers, and avoid evil when possible.

Another thing to do is to always go armed. There are physical and spiritual forces out there that will harm you. Remember, Elohim and other deities can take on physical human forms, and have made half physical half spiritual entities. Prayers are your friends, but a shotgun helps especially if it’s just a nasty territorial bear or alligator you’ve ran into. That, and one should never ignore the depravity of man, and the wilderness has no witnesses and dead men tell no tales.

This world is ours by birthright, but we will never get anything for free. Every rebellious entity has been trying to steal our inheritance from us ever since the Garden of Eden. God will not be mocked in the end, just don’t be one of the victims that must be avenged when the trumpet sounds and Christ comes back, sword swinging. 

I’d also be extra careful when exploring caves. Stuff of nightmares of course, but I’m not just spreading campfire stories here. Even if all this is bunk caves are dangerous places. That said the Watchers were said to have been imprisoned underground, and places like Shasta Mountain have had infamous stories of beings under the ground that are more than gnomes and fairy tales. 

I think I’ll save the elite’s underground sanctuaries and Nephilim hideouts under mountains for another post. So here are just a quick set of rules to follow to make sure you’re that much safer when far off the beaten path.

1. Strong Prayer, enough said, if evil is there prayer is always the answer. Go in with that game face gentlemen the spiritual war is fierce and all around you, and only fools go in unprepared.

2. Go armed, and ready. No fear, just respect for the physical dangers that exist out there whether paranormal or not. Don’t expect the spiritual war to not become physical either

3. Avoid locations with dark histories, and large amounts of unexplained disappearances. They’re not named after Old Scratch for kicks and giggles.

4. Avoid most caves, and all caves with shady pasts or a part of mountains with dark pasts.

5. Take some GPS locators for extreme situations, and always make sure somebody knows where you're going.

That’s all for now gentlemen. I certainly will expand on this subject in future posts, but short turning this into a book I really need to end it here. Enjoy your hikes and camping, but never forget what lurks on top of the mountain or in the heart of the woods. Always watch for What Goes Bump in the Night.

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Thanks for reading! You can follow me on twitter @RPGrizzly or on Socialgalactic @RPGrizzly.

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