Narrative Attack: Writers in La La Land

You know what I hate more than having affirmative action hires from HR departments everywhere kicking my extremist right wing ass out on the curb? Lackluster ticket taking satanic writers getting a hold of every single property I’ve ever dreamed about writing canon for from Star Wars to Warhammer. Ticket takers are notoriously bad writers, and the worst and more obvious things become the more pathetic they reveal themselves to be.

Case in point: Game of Thrones Season 8.

I never really enjoyed the show or the books. I watched the show with friends and was into the first season or so before piddling out with complete boredom. As a man who read Dune in three days let me tell you I never even felt tempted to crack one of the GAD books’ spines let alone finish one after that. However, this is not a J. R. R. Martin slam festival no matter how much the strange rape obsessed dwarf deserves it. 

This time we will be looking at a clear example of a pet peeve of mine that drives me towards insanity more and more every day worse than a mental institution insisting my brother-in-law is in fact a woman and is beautiful. The magic pants army reborn trope.

You see a massive force that requires logistics, support, supply, effort to maneuver, and years of training and experience is annihilated on screen in one episode or movie in a devastating scene setting up tension. How will they recover? Will they be able to defeat the enemy now that their force is shattered?

And then in its sequel an even larger force materializes out of thin air to save or ruin the day depending on their mood. Thus many a modern tale spoiled all the drama of the previous episodes so the lazy writer doesn’t have to work to get himself, herself, or itself out of the corner they've written themselves into.

In Game of Thrones we see the allied forces fighting the frozen fantasy zombies, and almost completely losing everything. Their entire force is nearly consumed only to have the remnants saved at the last second.

Watching the episode it looks pretty complete. Victory at the cost of everything which would have made the Lanister crazy lady the Queen by default. Yet in the very next episode an entire army of unsullied pop out of the ground to march south.

I hate this. Let me rephrase this, I despise this lazy writing trope more than a trany telling me how my distaste for anal rape means I’m gay. Armies don’t just materialize out of thin air. If you lose virtually everything in one movie or episode it should have a lasting effect on the faction in question.

The new Star Wars trilogy does this twice, and the second time they watched Game of Thrones and Kathleen Kennedy told them to hold her fermenting blue alien milk as they jumped a megalodon while juggling chainsaws to save the universe from space nazis. 

In the first movie I was under the impression that the First Order had been crushed after their Starkiller base was annihilated. After all, they were not the Empire, and more of a splitter group so that should’ve killed off the vast majority of their manpower and equipment. Enter the Last Jedi.

Suddenly, racist mick racist space nazis be everywhere! Dominating the whole galaxy with massive fleets. Where did all that come from? And if they had that kind of manpower, ships, and equipment why not just conquer the galaxy instead of waiting to build a weapon they didn’t need? 

Don’t even get me started on the Rise of the Skywalker magic fleet generation. The generic good guy fleet forms within what couldn’t be a timeframe of more than a day in the story. Thousands of ships, some with hundreds to thousands of crewmen, appear with no organization, no planning, and in hours of being summoned halfway across the universe.

Writers really don’t live in the real world anymore. Lord of the Rings spent over half of the Return of the King raising the armies of Rohan, Gondor, and the mountain tribes against the incoming Mordor horde, and after the battle their forces were so spent they would never be able to stand against Mordors numbers again. Still, Mordor took a hit as well and was unable to throw another army together to take Gondor right after their loss making it a bittersweet victory.

J. R. R. Tolkien, unlike his wannabe subverter dwarf mcrape pants over on Game of Thrones, had actually been in a real military before he wrote his books, and been in war. Modern writers want to skip right over practical experience, and into the big time meaning they have no concept of the real world when they take the devil’s ticket. They want the money, fame, and prestige and none of the work.

Real armies are a massive undertaking to move, maneuver, and form. You don’t need to go to war to understand the concept. A history book should be enough. Or spending a weekend trying to keep 20 guys fed on a camping trip. Anyone who has done it will tell you. Logistics and math are hard.

It takes twenty years to raise a boy, and when pressed a new soldier can be as young as fifteen in modern ethics and younger if not so ethical. Child soldiers come with their own problems so ethics aside if you want soldiers who can fill various roles, march or pilot and maintain machines like in Star Wars you are at least looking at sixteen or so years.

That doesn’t even bring into account training, experience, and machinery cost. Probably the hardest concept for writers of the woke agenda is the harsh lessons of war where sometimes assets are more important than lives. I know, you may think that ridiculous, but if say an Aircraft carrier is your only hope of defeating the enemy then individual sailors and soldiers are not as important as keeping the metal monster afloat.

That is of course the Last Jedi’s biggest sin. What is the use of the Rebel group of only a couple thousand with forces of millions on the table? Their fighters, ships and larger mothership that can hit targets of opportunity before melting back into space that’s what. So when it was revealed that the big plan was to waste all their assets to save the crew and strand themselves in the middle of nowhere I was ready to respectfully crap all over the word vomit being shoved into my brain.

How ridiculous. Who would join them in a fight when they don’t have their fleet anymore? They’re useless. Without plot armor they would have remained useless in the next movie.

Speaking of which. Why would anyone follow the intrepid gimp heroes to fight their last battle against the Sith and First Order 2.0? What if they’re big plan is to get all their assets destroyed again for a pyrrhic victory leaving your planet completely defenseless? How does losing all of your assets and next to all of your manpower make you the obvious choice to lead an assault of so many thousands?

How does that force form in less than a day? Naval ships take days to get out of port. Supplies, finding all the sailors, getting repairs done, logistics and navigation all these things take time, and space travel would be even more complicated. It’s infuriating.

Movie after movie makes these mistakes. Sure the politics are God awful, the forced wokeness is torture, and the subversion is downright satanic, but just as bad is the complete retardation of reality or more accurately our perception of reality. The more stupid we become collectively the more imbecilic our entertainment, and we’ve literally gotten to the point that supposed futuristic armies fight in blocks like Roman Legionaries. I’m looking at you Infinity war! They have guns and blasti spear things so why are they engaging in melee?

But that will wait for another episode. For now let us all look at the dumpster fire that is modern writing, and endeavor to do our due diligence making things make sense as we drag civilization back from the brink in a brilliant burst of Phoenix fire. Till then hang in there lads, and don’t eat the bull crap.

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